One Last Time
Chapter XXIII
"It costs fifty cents to use the toilets in each place. Guys, if you get caught pissing outside, it's a two hundred euro fine. And ladies ... "Steven looked back at Chevy and I with a smile, "that's just fucking disgusting.” The place erupted in laughter, as always.
It was our last night working together. Chev would stick around for a bit longer, but it was time for me to head back to Canada for a month.
We'd been taking turns on the microphone since Steven began running the Red Light crawl. However, as it was the end of an era, the original Ultimate Party MC made a cameo.
Nobody could get the groups fired up like Steven, and that "fucking disgusting" line was his. None of us dared repeat it when we were on the mic. That would have been blasphemy.
The night was a blur, as usual. The same old songs, inside jokes, and classic dance moves. Oh, and it was a Saturday, so, "Wallace! Freedom!"
The next day, I had some loose ends to tie up before leaving town. I popped by to see David, then Allen, then the pub crawl crew at the office.
Nir made sure to remind me of our future plans: "When you get back, we start planning for Krakow." I nodded, then shared an apprehensive glance with Chev. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding that, as lucrative as going into business with Nir could be, it would never actually happen.
Chev and I wandered outside to say our farewells. "Head up, Mate. Stick on the ice." Chevy started firing out his favourite lines with a big smile, "Keep yer fluids up. Pfffrrrp!" That last sound, one we used for about thirty percent of our communication, was the blast I needed to keep my composure, clearing the tears from my eyes and dislodging the lump from my throat. We laughed, hugged and said we'd see each other again soon.
My trip back to Canada wasn't a straightforward one. I'd planned a little tiki tour over a few days, and the first stop was the most important.
"Mike! Are you excited to see your family again?"
I’d texted Anna a few days before to say I was leaving, so we planned to meet outside the library, where she spent a big chunk of her time in those days. Hayden's passing was a reality check, so I decided to swallow my pride and try to be a better friend to Anna, even if I wanted more.
Standing on the footpath watching her talk, my peripheral senses faded. The trams vanished, the crowds of people ceased to exist, the buildings became shadows. All I could hear was Anna's voice, telling me about what she'd been up to and her latest Derm trip. But even that was muffled as though I was listening underwater.
Her blue eyes twinkled in the sun as she spoke, and the orange flecks in her irises mesmerized me. Her full lips and rosy cheeks revealed bright white teeth when she smiled. Her nostrils flared with emotion as she laughed and told her stories.
She was so beautiful, so energetic, so expressive. I wanted to hold her, to run my fingers through her long blonde hair. I wanted to pull her in close and never let go. Just like every other time I'd seen her, I was falling in love again for the first time.
"Mike, I have to go back inside. And … you have to get going back to Can-a-da!" Her hand was on my arm as she excitedly sang those last words.
But I couldn't walk away yet. I had to know if it was truly over. So, putting on the biggest boyish smile I could muster and softening my eyes, I took a chance.
"Anna..."' I looked from side to side as if preparing to tell her a secret, "Can I have a kiss?" I gave her a cheeky smile, which she met with a surprised laugh. "I'm leaving. I know I'll be back, but you never know what might happen. Just a kiss goodbye."
It was very innocent and playful. She could see I meant no harm. We stared at one another. Time stood still as we gazed into each other's eyes, smiling. My boot-shaped heart began stomping, trying to kick its way out of my quivering chest. Frozen with anticipation, I had no idea how she would react. My cheeks flushed while my palms broke out in a sweat.
During my time in the mountains years before, I'd encountered many deer in my wanderings. To avoid scaring them away, I'd developed a solid statue game. The ability to stand and wait. I took the same approach then, not daring to move or speak for fear of scaring her off.
Our looks intensified as we peered deeper into each other's eyes. I recognized something familiar. Something from Australia. Something from when I first arrived in Amsterdam. There was still something between us. My feelings did not stand alone. I wondered if she could hear the thumping inside my chest, where my heart changed from a boot to a hand, pounding away, trying to break out and reach for the beauty before me.
A sudden movement snapped the spell, casting it into the air with my broken train of thought. She came closer. Was this really happening? It was. Anna leaned in, and we kissed for one last time.
It wasn't a long kiss by any means. A second at most. In fact, less than a second. Actually, take a moment right now and blink. See how fast that was? That's what our last kiss was like. Even so, it was incredible. A sign of affection that said, "I feel it too, but we just can't."
Sliding my sunglasses on to mask the ocular flood of a broken heart, I watched Anna walk toward the door. Pulling it open to walk inside, she looked back, smiled and waved. Then, she was gone. I took a deep breath and walked away.
As the bus pulled out of Amsterdam, I knew a change of scenery would be good for me. I put some music on, looked out the window and set my thoughts free.
Later that day, I arrived in Brussels.