As I've mentioned already, before working at the Belvedere Arms in Berkshire, I worked at the Walkabout in Glasgow. The crew there was a lot of fun, and some even became friends. The closest of whom was Chevy. He was a really good dude, and we hit it off straight away.
Slightly taller than me, solid and muscular, with messy ginger blonde hair, dimples and a chiselled jawline, Chevy was a stud and, like most Australians I'd met over the years, cool. He had all the catchphrases and lines, was well-travelled, and carried a moderate confidence about him that made him instantly likeable.
Chevy was still at the Walkie then, and I was dead set on getting him out of there. "It's awesome here, Bro! Get out of that place and come make some money."
Once, in a phone interview, I was asked to sell the interviewer a pineapple. Standing in the middle of a mall on a pay phone, I threw all my energy into it. When we hung up, I'm sure the lady interviewing me went straight to the nearest shop to buy the biggest pineapple she could find. Applying the same energy, I began selling the Amsterdam pineapple to Chevy.
"Dude, it's way better here. And Chicks Bro! They're everywhere. Hey girls! Tell my buddy Chevy he should move to Amsterdam."
Jimmy and I were hammered, making our way back to St. Christopher's when I made the call. We were walking with a small group of Germans headed in the same direction. Two girls were hanging particularly close to us. One stuck especially close to Jimmy. The other, young, blonde, and cute, had a lustful look in her eye. However, blinded by my new relationship with Anna, I didn't catch on immediately.
She got very close to me, leaned toward the phone, grinned and stared straight into my eyes, letting out a seductive "Komm her."
It isn't necessary to speak German to understand. It's the same as 'come here', only with a German accent. I heard Chevy laughing through the phone. He was having after-work beers and perked up at the sound of a female's voice.
"Who's that, ya hound?" I began to explain that she was part of a crew from that night's pub crawl. But moving even closer, staring harder into my eyes, the young German's words sliced through mine, commanding attention and obedience: "Komm her."
Nothing more needed to be said. Chevy had heard enough. "Leave it with me, Mate. I'll give you a ring tomorrow. Don't get into too much trouble over there. Keep your fluids up."
My phone was back in my pocket, yet my sales partner held her position, eyes still locked onto mine. "Thanks! That was awesome. I think he's going to come." Oblivious to the young lass' intentions, I ran over to tell Jimmy the news. "I think we've got him Man! I won't be surprised if Chevy heads over here soon. He's great, you'll like him!"
Jimmy was whispering and giggling with the other girl now. "Cool! Hey, let's go party with this group for a bit." Stoked on the idea of Chevy coming to Amsterdam, I innocently followed along. As always, I was pretty drunk. I remember trying to chat with the silent seductress, but she spoke little English and little in general. She just maintained her stare and grin the entire time.
The next thing I remember is being inside a hostel in Vondelpark. Everyone else had dispersed, and I was left standing in the hallway face-to-face with my pursuer. "Komm her." She was moving closer. Yet to clue in, I replied in ignorance, "Yes! I really think he's coming. It'll be so good if he does."
Suddenly, alarm bells went off. Feeling like a Gazelle in the Savannah, I finally realised the hungry lioness's intentions as she crept toward me. "Komm her." She stalked slowly, grinning, never breaking eye contact, closing the gap between us. "Komm her." It was hypnotising. Her persistence had me stunned, frozen in place as the seductive predator approached. I was cornered, the seductress blocking the exit, and behind me, a dark dorm room of sleeping tourists.
The gap quickly closing, I tried to find a way out. But she was fast! Like bolts of lightning, her hands flew past my belt and down the front of my trousers. I couldn't move. Her grin turned to a smile. "You like it."
She had a fair point, considering I was rock-hard. Who wouldn't be? Drunk with an attractive foreign lass bypassing the clothing checkpoint and holding on to my penis. It was a dream situation for previously single Mike.
"Komm her." She leaned in to kiss me, but I heard Anna's voice, "I don't want you kissing other girls if you're kissing me." I closed my eyes and saw Anna's face. That's all it took. The spell was broken.
My eyes opened and met the stranger's with indifference. I grabbed her wrists and removed her hands from my trousers. "I have a girlfriend. I'm not going to do this to her. Sorry if you got the wrong idea."
Thinking that was enough to defuse the situation, I relaxed and let my guard down. "Komm her." The lioness's paws swiped again, ripping open my belt buckle and popping open my jeans with lightning speed. Damn button flies.
I didn't wear underwear in those days, so I was completely exposed. Shocked and confused, I stepped back. I'd met assertive females in my life, but nothing like this. She was locked in on her target and intent on getting what she wanted. Still physically aroused, my erect penis stuck out like an extended hand reaching to pull someone in from a stormy sea. Despite my backpedalling, she caught hold and pulled herself in with an unrelenting grip. "Komm her."
I didn't need to close my eyes and picture Anna this time. My big head was in the right place despite his smaller counterpart playing into the lioness's trap.
"No way!" I pulled her hands away again and distanced myself back toward the entrance of the dorm room while doing up my trousers. "That isn't cool. I have a girlfriend. This isn't going to happen." The look in her icy blue eyes told me she wasn't giving up. To her, it was a game of predator and prey. A game she planned on winning. The only option was to get out of there as quickly as possible.
"Komm her." She began undressing right there in the hallway. I turned and entered the dorm. It was too dark to see Jimmy, so I followed the slapping and panting. "Jimmy..." I whispered. "Jimmy, are you all good Man? I'm going to take off." The slapping continued as Jimmy displayed impressive stamina, thrusting and speaking simultaneously. "Where's the other girl, Dude? Aren't you going to be my wingman?"
He'd already gotten what he wanted, so this wingman was officially off duty. "I'm out, Man. I'll see you tomorrow. Enjoy." About to turn and leave, I felt someone behind me. "Komm her."
I fucking bolted past the naked lioness, down the hallway and out the door into Vondelpark. Heart racing and my little soldier now at ease, I made my way toward St. Christopher's, checking over my shoulder occasionally in case the lioness was in hot pursuit, naked and grinning, repeating her command as she closed in on me. But the coast was clear. I'd escaped.
A few blocks from the hostel, a guy on the other side of the street shouted to me, "Hey! My brother. Do you have any lighter?" He was dark with a thick accent. He was on foot, and his friend was on a bike.
There are plenty of young guys from African countries in Amsterdam selling drugs, bikes and all sorts of whatever tourists will buy. It isn't uncommon for some of them to become aggressive when they don't get what they want.
"No, sorry boys. I don't smoke." I began to walk away but saw from the corner of my eye they were crossing the road toward me.
"Hey! Give me a lighter!" I can run forever, but I'm not fast. Walking home wasted at half past three in the morning, I knew I'd be even slower than usual. So, I turned to face them, stuck my chest out and tried to stand my ground. "What's your problem? I told you I don't have a lighter. I don't smoke. Why would I have one? Fuck off and leave me alone!"
They both became aggressive, swearing and threatening me as they got closer. I was getting worried and started looking for something I could use to defend myself.
Just then, out of nowhere, two bike policemen turned up, wasting no time, speeding in and stopping right in front of the troublemakers. "Go home now," one called as the other silenced the men and demanded their papers. He didn't need to tell me twice.
Phew! Was I ever happy to see them. Typically, given I was working illegally due to not having a visa, cops made me nervous. But on that night, those boys in blue may as well have had wings.
I darted back to the hostel, took a quick shower to wash off the grime of that evening, then my head hit the pillow with a thud. "What a fucking night." I closed my eyes, and Anna's smiling face helped me sleep.
The next day, my phone rang as I walked to the office. It was Chevy. "I'm in, Mate! I gave them my notice at work. I'll see ya in two weeks." Awesome news to start the day after the previous night's chaos.
Before ringing him, it had been a while since Chevy and I had spoken, so he had yet to learn about Anna.
"How'd you go last night? Did ya make it home with that chick in the background? The bossy one with the heavy accent. Haha! What did she keep saying? Oh yeah! Komm her."